Losing my sanity...

I know i should really just quit whining and shut my gap, but i have no other means of outlet, and it's getting up to my neck.

Imagine these:
Walking hurts because your knee hurts, you feel like you're walking on marbles, you can't put your heel down because your achilles tendon is angry, and you feel pain whenever you move your leg forwards.
You can't touch your shoulder because your elbow is so stiff and painful, it makes even washing your face difficult. You can't wear your shirt because it hurts to lift your arms at the shoulder.
Typing and writing is painful because your wrists are swollen and painful, your fingers are angry at the MCPs and PIPs.
Your bloody back is stiff and achy from all that sitting and standing, especially in the lumbar and sacral area.
Lastly, you can't exercise or do the things you like because of all of the above.


Isn't life lived like that too painful? Well then, welcome to my world.

I don't deny that my coping mechanism is faulty. I've tahan-ed enough in my years with these that my tahan-ing mechanism has broken down. My docs used to ask me how i coped... Tahan lor! But this isn't really the case anymore as i get older, and as it progresses. I don't know how much damage has been done till now. One thing for sure, this disease is evolving as i get older, and more vicious in nature, and unrelenting.

Tolerating is easy i guess. It's when you get mentally fatigued with all these crap, and all the unempathizing/unsympathizing shit that gets to you eventually.

I'm tired of all these bull. SICK AND TIRED.

And it's only day 2 after visting my rheumy. My head is screaming to go back to her and beg her for some relief. Oh well... 50+ days to go... Plus all the crap i'm getting in school.